Wednesday, February 6, 2013

RolePlayGateway?

Randomiser Nuzlocke Challenge

The Rules:

  • When a pokemon faints in battle, it is dead, and must be permanently boxed or released.
  • You may only catch one pokemon per zone. This pokemon is randomly generated using the action replay code for a random encounter. You may only catch the first pokemon you encounter.
  • The starter pokemon must be boxed or released as soon as possible.
  • A second encounter may be rolled in the case of a duplicate unless the previous pokemon has died.

Today was a morning much like any other morning, for Teo. Waking up feeling bleary after a dream about a strange, white-coated woman asking him his gender and name was just another notch on the bedpost for bizarre experiences brought on by his mother's curries. He swore she must put something like diced Drowsee in them just to screw with him.

Well, nevermind, it was time to get up.

He could hear his mom having some sort of phonecall outside his bedroom window, but making out the details was difficult. Something about a hat. He decided they didn't matter, and went to catch a shower.

"Teo, I'm home!"

Teo rolled his eyes, "I'm in the shower mom!" he called down to her. A set of thundering footsteps answered him, and he barely had time to shriek as his mother slammed open the door.

"No time!" she yelled, "You're going away on a journey from which you may never return! You want a pokemon, right?"

"Mother!" Teo yelled, pulling his jeans on embarrassedly, "What are you talking about?! Have you been at Mrs. Badcrumble's house again? I know you go there to get stoned every Friday, I'm not an idiot. No I don't want a damn pokemon, I'm a teenager, I wanna sit at home and play video games."

"What?!" his mother exclaimed, "That's a shock! I'll ask you again, do you want a pokemon?"

"I already told you! Isn't the deal with choices that, you know, I get a choice?!" Teo protested.

"I have altered the deal," his mother snapped, "Pray that I do not alter it any further."

There was a stunned silence as Teo stared at his mother, "Did you just quot-?"

He was interrupted by her screeching "No time! You want a pokemon, great! Put your clothes on and get outside!"

"But moooooooommm!" Teo was left to groan after her retreating figure. Go figure. He spent more time in this house than his damn mom and now she was kicking him out with some sort of bogus journey excuse? Now he was beginning to understand why dad left. Whatever, pokemon were cool, he guessed. But outside sucked, it was all ... pointy.

Five minutes later, he emerged downstairs, fully clothed. His mother was instantly at his side, startling him again.

"Do you know what a pokedex is?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah, vaguel-" Teo started, only to be interrupted again.

"Good! You want one, yes?" These questions were starting to get old, especially considering that there was no answer apart from yes.

"Do I get a choice?" he chanced.

"I knew you would!" His mother said gleefully. It seemed that she had advanced from forcing him to agree to simply not caring what he said at all. Man, she sucked. What kind of seventeen year old was expected to wander across the damn continent alone anyway? Weren't there laws against this? "Go find a girl with a big green hat!" His mother continued, "That's all I was told."

"What is this," Teo snorted, "A Bourne movie? Is that some sort of spy code?"

"Gofindagreenhatbyenow!"

And with that, Teo found himself unceremoniously dumped out the front door. "Fuck you!" he shouted back at the slammed entrance.

"Rough morning, huh?"

Teo looked up from his pouting seated position at the spiky-blue haired figure of Kai, his best friend. "You could say that," he muttered, "Didn't even let me grab any snacks for the road."

"The road?" Kai asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, mom just kicked me out," Teo muttered in reply, "Some sort of bullshit excuse about some green-hat lady wanting me to go on a journey with pokemon, which is surely doomed to fail and end up with me being eaten by a pack of wild jigglypuffs. She just wants to make room for whatever scumbag boyfriend she brings in next, I'm sure."

Kai hissed in through his teeth. "That's rough, buddy."

"No shit..."

"But!" Kai exclaimed, "That's also kinda convenient, I was about to see if you were free for an impossible quest anyway."

"What are you talking about?" Teo asked, frowning.

"You get a pokemon yet?" Kai asked.

Shaking his head, Teo shrugged, "I guess that's green-hat-lady's job."

Kai grinned, "Let's go find her then! I need a guy I can trust at my back, and you seem like you have good instincts!"

"What does that even mean, Kai, oh my god, you're acting like my mother. Has something gotten into the water in this city?" Teo groaned, only for Kai to grab his arm.

"Shut up, Teo. Let's go!"

Much aimless wandering later.

"Oh my god, how hard can it be to find a giant green hat?" Teo moaned, "Wouldn't it have made more sense for her to find my house since that's a fixed location rather than an entire city she could be in?!"

Kai rolled his eyes, "Shut up, Teo." he said, "Let's check the overlook, we haven't been there yet."

As the pair walked up the long set of stairs, Teo grumbled at nothing. "Why would she be here? It's not like there are any houses up here. If she's looking for my house she wouldn't have com-"

And lo and behold, there she was. Green hat girl.

"I swear people have no common sense." Teo muttered.

"Just go get your pokemon, dude."

And so Teo went. "Uh hey, green-hat-girl?" he called as he approached.

Turning in surprise, the blonde girl in the green hat smiled brightly as she saw Teo. "Oh, hi there! I'm Bianca, assistant of the pokemon professor -- professor Juniper! By the way, do you know someone called Teo?"

"That's me, lady. You're in luck." Teo replied, "I guess you at least exist, so maybe mom wasn't quite as high as I thought she was."

Bianca gave Teo an odd look, but chose to ignore what he'd said. "Oh it's you! You're exactly like what I heard! I have a really important request for you!"

Teo raised an eyebrow, "Look, lady, I dunno what you've been told but I'm just a teenager. I play video games all day, I don't even know which end of a pokemon to point at the other pokemon..."

"Will you help us complete the pokedex?" Bianca asked cheerfully.

Teo sighed, "Sure, whatever. I can't go home, I might as well get a job. Do I get paid?"

"Oh, thank you!" Bianca exclaimed, ignoring the mention of payment, "You'll help our research move forward! Okay, listen up - this is important. I don't have a pokemon for you, which is different to how we usually do things."

Teo leaned back on one foot, "Great, do enlighten me on whatever crazy scheme you've cooked up instead. Also, money? Any money in this?"

"This here," Bianca said, producing a device from her bag, "Is a randomiser! It's a strange device that Professor Juniper invented that will randomly pull a pokemon from somewhere in the world to you when triggered!"

Teo stared at the contraption, "Badass." he said, "But wait, why can't you just mash this back at the lab until you get all the pokemon yourselves?"

Bianca laughed, "Don't be silly, that would risk tearing a hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum such that might swallow our entire world! Duh!"

Teo stared blankly as Bianca went on. "It's only safe to use the device once in any given area!" she noted, "And avoid using it in populated areas - you don't want to accidentally unleash a Rayquaza on a town!"

At this, Teo balked, "It can summon that? Wait wait wait, what about unleashing a Rayquaza on ME? Why can't you do this!"

Bianca smiled, "Oh, I've got far too much important research to do to spend time potentially getting myself killed by vicious pokemon snapped from their side of the planet! Besides, the randomiser also affects your pokeballs, allowing them to catch the pokemon called instantly!"

Teo frowned, "How is that a thing? Shouldn't this be making you rich?"

"Just take the damn thing." Bianca snapped.

Teo took it.

"Okay!" Bianca exclaimed, "Now you're ready to go! Better head off, don't want to waste time!"

After a long silence, Teo realised that was his cue to leave. Bianca handed him the pokedex and the randomiser and he was sent on his way. On his way back down the steps, Kai met him. "Hey!" the blue-haired boy called, "Get a pokemon?"

"No," Teo replied, "Just this ... thingy." he waved the randomiser, "That'll get me some random ones in different places."

Kai blinked, "What?"

"Don't worry," Teo muttered.

"Well, cool, whatever. I'm gonna head out first! Get strong, Teo!" Kai said, patting him on the shoulder before turning and speeding off.

"Wait!" Teo called, "You never told me what you- oh he's gone, fuck it."

Some time later, on the way out of the city.

"Kid! Hey, hey kid!"

Teo turned as he made his way down the road towards Aspertia's exit, raising an eyebrow at an approaching figure. It was a man, middle-aged but with a suave handsomeness to him. "What?" Teo asked.

The man extended a hand with a bag in it, "Your mom wanted you to have these. Something about them stinking up the place."

"Oh god you're her new boyfriend aren't you." Teo groaned, glancing into the bag at his running shoes, "Well whatever, tell her good riddance. I'll get my own house. With blackjack, and hookers."

"You do that kid," The man said, rolling his eyes, "I gotta get back to your mom. Wouldn't want her to dry out too much."

Teo's jaw dropped, "Wh- ewww- uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhgggg!"

The man was gone by the time Teo finished gagging, but before he had time to take another step, a smaller voice called out his name. "Oh, what now?" he muttered, turning to see the slight form of Kai's sister running up.

"Teo! My brother said you two were going on an adventure!" she exclaimed.

"Something like that," Teo responded with a shrug.

"Here, take these," the little girl said, handing him a pair of maps, "One's for you, one's for my big brother. You'll catch up to him I'm sure!"

Teo blinked, "Oh, wow, neat. That's actually pretty useful. Nowhere in this bloody city seems to sell maps. Thanks!"

The girl grinned deviously, "That's okaaaay, just make sure you give the red one to Kai!"

Giving her a suspicious look, Teo nodded slowly. "Okay, sure. I gotta run. See you around, little'un."

And so, crossing out into the wilds, Teo's journey began.

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